Thursday, September 14, 2017

Fighting women don't wear high heels


I've been looking through stock photo sites, looking for pictures of a detective type couple. Folks, it is so damned depressing. It seems illustrators and photographers around the world can't get their heads around the fact that it's not a great idea to detect/fight/spy wearing slinky ball gowns and stilettos. Or miniskirts and stilettos. Or a bikini and stilettos. Try doing a search in a stock photo site for 'detective couple' or 'detective with gun'. Almost all the contributors seem to think that the poster of the movie Mr and Mrs Smith is an accurate representation of what such a couple should look like.

Sorry, dudes. No.

Have you guys ever tried running in a pair of high heels? I have. Let me tell you, you end up with sore feet at best, a twisted ankle at worst. And you're not fast. Which is why athletes tend not to wear stilettos on the track. If you think chunky heels with platform soles are more effective – sorry again. In shoes like that you lose any feeling of contact with the ground. Another thing, have you tried, you know, sneaking around in those shoes? You're already on tiptoe. It's hard to get any tippy-toeier. As for climbing up walls and the like – forget it.

I ended up settling for a very good photo of a detective-type couple. But as you can see from the photo, she's wearing a mini skirt. Once again, dudes, have you tried climbing, or running, in a mini skirt? Let's assume you're over the modesty thing, which has you clutching at the hem every few minutes to pull it down. If you really want to run, you'd hoist the thing up around your waist to give your legs room to stride. (assuming you've divested yourself of the high heels). Skirts get in the way when you want to get in a good kick, too.
 
And the long hair? Not good in a fight. Neither are dangly earrings. They can be pulled, and it hurts.
Seriously, designers.

The lady on the right makes my head hurt. Would anyone in their right mind go into a fight dressed like that? What's she trying to do? Seduce the opposition? And what does she do with those two guns when she needs to - you know - pick something up? Or go to the loo?

Dudes (because I suspect it's mainly young men who fantasize over this sort of thing) fighting women don't dress like that. They wear the same gear as men – pants with room to move, no things that flap around. They tie their hair back, or wear it short. They cover their bodies for protection. And please, NO high bloody heels.

4 comments:

  1. OMG, yes! Dudes and their ridiculous idea of what women should wear to a fight! It's bad enough in the gaming world, where every female avatar is stripped to bikinis and, you guessed it, high heels, but now every movie (I'm looking at you ATOMIC BLONDE) has to perpetuate the fantasy. Stupid--and juvenile! Even worse, SFR covers are going the same route, with supposed kick-ass heroines decked out the same way. ACK!

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  2. Amen and AMEN, Greta! If someone thinks women engaged in combat scenarios can't look good unless they're wearing heels and skimpy clothing, I've got two words for them. Sarah Connor. Let's get real.

    Oh, and by the way, on the flip side of the coin: Male assassins/stealth operatives wearing leather! No. Just no. Leather creaks and nulls all chance of silent approach. Put your bad boy in dark synthetics.

    "Mission-appropriate" clothing can be sexy AND believable.

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  3. The Sarah Connor look seconded! I guess there's little escape from "sex sells", though . Even in beauty pageants, bikinis with high heels is ridiculous. Just makes their legs look longer...and therefore sexier. Try walking in the sand in high heels! And don't try to persuade me that Wonder Woman and Xena's attire was not intended to be sexy.

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  4. I had one of my heroines seeking out cute flats with grippy soles for a big event just in case S&^t Broke Out. Which, of course, it does.

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